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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Dance Lessons’ Creates Profound Existential Crisis in Mennonite Town

October 5, 2016 Andrew

SOMMERFELD, PARAGUAY Residents of a small Mennonite town were sent into deep existential angst on Wednesday when a sign went up in town offering ‘Free Dance Lessons.’ “As a Mennonite I’m obligated to take anything […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Strip Poker Game Sends Three to Hospital

October 4, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Three young Mennonites are in critical condition at the Altona Hospital this evening after a strip poker game went badly wrong. The local variation of the game requires participants to add layers of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Everyone’s at the MCC Right Now, What Are You Doing on Facebook?

October 1, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Like, seriously, now, who’s even reading this? It’s the middle of the day on Saturday, which means that absolutely everyone in Steinbach is at the MCC thrift store, which closes at 3. Good […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Sure is a Stickler on Scrabble Rules

September 30, 2016 Andrew

HENDERSON, NB During the 20th century, Mennonite grandmothers across North America have overcome the oppressive patriarchal subculture that too often limited them to grade eight educations to excel at many things, including Scrabble. However, along […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Discovers He’s Dead from the Funeral Announcements

September 29, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Sam W. Buhler of Winker has listened to the funeral announcements on the local Plautdietsch radio station for the past twenty years, but never did he expect that he would hear his […]

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