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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lingerie Now Available at Aganetha’s Secret

January 23, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Ladies all around the Altona area are really excited about the opening of a new store that specializes in Mennonite lingerie. Started by local woman Mrs. Aganetha Siemens, 63, the new store features undergarments […]

The Daily Bonnet

Treble Teens Teach ‘Step-touch’ to New Generation of Mennonites

January 23, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than three decades, from the 60s through the 80s, youth choir the Treble Teens were Steinbach’s most famous export, travelling across the globe with their beautiful voices and almost-dancing. Forbidden by the community […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Russian Mennonite’ Shocked to Discover He’s Actually Dutch

January 22, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Arnold F. Thiessen, 81, like many Mennonites in western Canada, spent his entire life under the false impression that he was a ‘Russian’. “All these years I’ve been eating borscht, cheering […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites ‘Conscientiously Object’ to Winter

January 21, 2017 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Every winter Mennonites across the frozen Canadian prairies are faced with a challenge to their faith – do they stay and violently fight the cold weather or flee for the south as Weather Objectors? […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites to Hold Annual ‘Running of the Dairy Cows’ Down Pennsylvania Avenue Today

January 20, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Inspired by a similar tradition in small town Spain, American Mennonites plan to hold their annual ‘Running of the Dairy Cows’ today in Washington, DC. “It’s nice to see they’ve already roped off […]

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