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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

The Proper Pronunciation of Common Russian Mennonite Surnames

December 30, 2016 Andrew

As Mennonites, most of us can relate to the English saying our surnames in a wide variety of abominations. Heck, even some Mennonites say their own last names incorrectly. In order to address this problem, The […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Publishes ‘Mennonite Your Way Through Afghanistan’ Guide

December 29, 2016 Andrew

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN For decades Mennonites have sought to find other Mennonites to stay with for free while travelling the world. The phenomenon has even led to the publication of a number of popular directories that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Children Walk In On Parents Having Meddachschlop

December 28, 2016 Andrew

STEINREICH, MB Everyone in the Loewen family was peacefully asleep having a nice afternoon meddachschlop this past Sunday, when all of a sudden young Ethan and Brittany were awoken by peculiar sounds they just had to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party…or Mennonite Family Gathering?

December 28, 2016 Andrew

CORN, OK Unintentionally ugly Christmas sweaters were on full display at the Kliewer family Christmas gathering this past week. Only Grandma Kliewer was unaware of just how hideous the sweaters were. “I’m so glad to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mistletoe Creates Awkward Moments at Mennonite Family Gathering

December 27, 2016 Andrew

REICHENBACH, MB The presence of mistletoe at the Epp family Christmas gathering this past week, caused quite the number of awkward moments for the Epp cousins. “I don’t know why Oma insists on putting mistletoe all […]

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