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STEINBACH, MB Mennonite couples across southern Manitoba are planning to celebrate Valentine’s Day the only way they know how: by playing Scrabble. “It’ll be nice to have some time to ourselves for once. We’ve sent […]
WINKLER, MB Local spinster Annie Goertzen, 51, will spend a romantic evening alone tonight snuggling up on her sofa with a glass of dealcoholized wine, half a Toblerlone bar, and an Amish romance book. “These […]
KITCHENER, ON The body odour of dozens of hard-working Mennonite men has been extracted using a special process and been used to create a brand new cologne, which will be marketed and sold as Eau […]
NEWTON, KS Uncle Elmer Jansen, 71, has been single his whole life for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is his absolute refusal to date women who wear pants or “Satan’s slacks” […]
CLEARBROOK, BC After a long and divisive campaign that dominated headlines across Canada, the Mennonite churches of Clearbrook, British Columbia have voted overwhelmingly in favour of seceding from the City of Abbotsford. “We’re sick and […]
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