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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Eagerly Anticipates Spanish Man’s Arrival

April 9, 2017 Andrew

STRASSBURG, MB Members of a tiny church in Strassburg, Manitoba have been laying out palm branches on the street in anticipation of the arrival of Winnipeg resident and estate lawyer Jesus Hernandez. “I can’t believe Jesus […]

The Daily Bonnet

Gangs of Rebellious Seniors Invade Steinbach on Their ‘Kick Ass Harleys’

April 8, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since the snow melted this spring, mobility scooters have been out in full force in Steinbach, as gangs of wily Mennonite seniors take over the city. “We were too badass for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Petey and Aganetha Hiebert of Altona, Manitoba found themselves in the “den of iniquity” after a GPS error led them to the Osborne Village neighbourhood of Winnipeg. “Oba, nay! Would you look at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Try Your Hand at Mennonite Mad Libs!

April 6, 2017 Andrew

For decades, children have entertained themselves on long road trips by filling in the blanks on the popular Mad Libs sheets. For your endless amusement, here is a Mennonite Mad Lib-style game. Instructions: Print off […]

The Daily Bonnet

Missing CMU Student Discovered Beneath a Mountain of Hauerwas Books

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After an extensive nationwide search, CMU Theology student Brian Schmidt was discovered unconscious this past Friday in his dorm room beneath an enormous pile of Stanley Hauerwas books. “Brian’s recovering at the local hospital,” said his […]

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