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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Typo Leads Ted Falk Supporters to TED Talk

March 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A minute spelling error in a newspaper ad led hundreds of Ted Falk voters to a lecture hall at the University of Manitoba this past week. Instead of a speech by the Provencher MP, they […]

The Daily Bonnet

Religious Bumper Stickers Causing Accidents All Over Southern Manitoba

March 6, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A legion of bumper sticker-laden pickup trucks and minivans across southern Manitoba are causing traffic accidents throughout the region as people strain to read the Bible verses or inspirational messages. “I was just reading […]

The Daily Bonnet

Census: Steinbach Population to Surpass Winnipeg by 2217

March 6, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The recent Canadian census has sparked a rivalry between the growing Mennonite town of Steinbach and its (currently) much larger provincial capital. If current rates of growth continue, Steinbach, already the third-largest community in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Fondly Reminisce About the Olden Days When Chicken Meat Actually Contained Chicken

March 4, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After DNA testing recently revealed that the chicken at numerous popular fast food establishments had “only trace amounts of chicken meat,” Mennonites across North America fondly recalled the days when eating chicken meant you […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mysterious Steinbach Mineral Claims Finally Revealed

February 28, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than a year, a secretive Alberta company has been buying up the mineral rights for a massive area surrounding the city of Steinbach. The precise nature of the mineral rights purchase has been kept under […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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