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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record

August 13, 2017 Andrew

BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS, UT The Giesbrecht family of Grunthal, Manitoba has just set a new land speed record of more than 715 km/h (444 mph) at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. With Mr. Peter Giesbrecht at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Comes Home and Catches Husband on Pinterest

August 7, 2017 Andrew

WEST KILDONAN, MB Earlier today, area woman Susan Dueck was shocked and horrified to discover her husband using Pinterest when she returned home early from a shopping trip. “Donald, just what are you doing?!” exclaimed Dueck. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Entire City of Steinbach to Stretch Out Along Highway 12

August 7, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Eager to reach neighbouring Ste. Anne before the end of the decade, the City of Steinbach has decided to relocate all existing houses, businesses, and churches to stretch out for miles along Highway […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things for Mennonites to Do at the Lake this Weekend

August 6, 2017 Andrew

I was in church this morning. It was just me and Pastor Dave. It wasn’t bad, but the sermon felt a little personal, you know? Well, anyway, since you’re all out camping, I’ve decided to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Vocabulary Reduced to ‘Once’, ‘Yet’, and ‘Such’

August 5, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC There was a time when George Baerg’s vocabulary stretched to more than thirty words and an occasional ethusiastic ‘oba!’ These days, however, Mr. Baerg, now retired and extra grumpy, has settled on ‘once’, ‘yet’, and […]

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