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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Can Finally Start Her Christmas Shopping Now That It’s Snowed

November 20, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB This is the latest start to Christmas shopping ever for area woman Jessica Fehr. But there was just enough snow this week that Fehr was able to commence the journey. “Dietja,” said Fehr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite’ and 7 Other Terms You Didn’t Know were Slurs

November 19, 2024 Andrew

I’m not sure why it took the outside world so long to figure this out, but the word Mennonite is actually a highly offensive slur and should never be used. After all, like Anabaptist, the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Committee Rules Non-Mennonites are Allowed to Laugh at Mennonite Jokes

November 11, 2024 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB A meeting was held at the Randolph Garage this past week to determine whether non-Mennonites are allowed to laugh at Mennonite jokes. The issue was raised after several city folks felt guilty about […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather for Harder-Dyck Wedding

November 8, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Dozens of Harders and Dycks, along with their friends and churchmates, gathered in at the Swift Current EMB church this past weekend to witness the wedding of Christopher Harder, 23, and Brittney […]

The Daily Bonnet

Flat Earther Proves His Theory with Bibliography Full of Memes

November 7, 2024 Andrew

CORN, OK Mr. Billy Pauls of Corn, Oklahoma recently posted his “extensively researched and definitive proof” of his flat earth theory which contained a lengthy Works Cited page containing dozens of memes he found online […]

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