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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

‘Bigfoot’ Revealed to be a ‘Mr. Friesen’ from Altona

July 30, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The mystery of Bigfoot has finally been solved! After careful analysis of the footage, scientists at Pembina Valley University, have concluded that the big hairy beast seen traipsing through the back-40 last year […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Dog Breeder Creates New Breed, the ‘Low German Shepherd’

July 26, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Expert dog breeder, Mr. Peter Fehr, 59, of Winkler, has worked for more than three decades to create a new dog breed: the Low German Shepherd. Thanks to a lot of blood, sweat […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fraser Valley Mennonites Put the ‘Before Christ’ in BC

July 24, 2018 Andrew

YARROW, BC A new study out of the University of the Fraser Valley indicates that early Mennonite settlers may have been under the mistaken impression that ‘BC’ stood for ‘Before Christ’ when they decided to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman’s Thumbs Got a Great Workout at the Gym Today

July 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman Erin Friesen, 34, gave her thumbs quite the workout at the gym today. Friesen estimates she sent more than a hundred texts today and burned between 3 and 4 calories. “Dang […]

The Daily Bonnet

Evolutionist Proves Mennonites are Descended from Abes

July 21, 2018 Andrew

DRUMHELLER, AB Scientists at the Friesen Academy of Science, Platz, and Aniseed (FASPA) have uncovered conclusive evidence that proves the evolution of Mennonites from our ancestors the Abes. “Sometime millions of years ago in the […]

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