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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Children Super Excited for the Return of Christmas

April 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After an unexpected blizzard this week, children across southern Manitoba woke up to a blanket of snow and began frantically filling out their Christmas wish lists. “Christmas! It’s Christmas,” exclaimed little Sally Doerksen, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Begrudgingly Signs Up for Sportsnet So He Can Watch the Jets Game

April 10, 2019 Andrew

ARBORG, MB Peter Giesbrecht, 67, is really looking forward to the Jets playoff push this year. One thing, however, that he’s not too keen on is subscribing to Rogers Sportsnet just so he can watch […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Patiently Waits Six Months for Wife Outside Changing Room

April 6, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For the past six months, Mr. Klassen has been sitting patiently on a chair outside the changing room at the Bay downtown waiting for his wife Edna to finish trying on a few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Reimer Still Refers to Mrs. Ens as a “Russlander”

April 5, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though their families came from the exact same colonies in Russia, for some reason the Mennonites who arrived in Canada a few decades earlier referred to the newcomers in the 1920s as […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Landfill to Get their Hands on Some Free Mattresses

March 31, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, MB Ever since the Blumenbach Landfill announced that they would now be accepting mattresses, Mennonites across the region have been flocking to the site to both discard and acquire these precious items. “Once you […]

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