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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Novelist Irma Voth Pens New Novel Called ‘Miriam Toews’

January 11, 2019 Andrew

MEXICO CITY Mennonite literature fans are really excited about the release of a new novel by renowned Mexican Mennonite novelist Irma Voth called Miriam Toews. “I can’t wait to read Miriam Toews. I’ve been reading Irma Voth’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Politician Demands $5 Billion Wall Around Morden

January 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Church board member and man-about-town Mr. Toews of Winkler is threatening to shut down the local government unless the local senate approves a $5.7 billon wall around the neighbouring town of Morden. “You […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cousin Aggie Caught Flipping Two Cards at a Time Instead of Three

January 6, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Cousin Aganetha has been barred from ever attending another Sunday afternoon Dutch Blitz match after it was discovered she had been flipping over just two cards at a time from the “Wood Pile” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Completely Predictable Mennonite Couple Places Garbage Can Under the Sink

January 5, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The first thing that newlyweds Andrew and Katie Unrau did when they moved into their new home in Winkler was put the garbage can under the sink “like it should be.” “There was […]

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