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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Child Opens Lunch Box to Find a Lard Sandwich Yet Again Today

May 10, 2019 Andrew

HOCHFELD, SK Little Earl Petkau could hardly wait to open up his Patridge Family lunch box and search around to see what his mom had packed him. Unfortunately, Earl’s hopes were quickly dashed as mom […]

Unger & Thirst

Squeaky Cheese Curds Heard a Mile Away

May 6, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Unbeknownst to Mr. Penner, his fresh squeaky cheese curds could be heard over a mile away at the Loewen farm. “I heard this squeaky sound and I knew instantly they must be […]

Unger & Thirst

Sound of Knacking Zoat Used as Mennonite Mating Call

May 2, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Young Mennonite men throughout the Grunthal region, including Gnadenfeld, Kronsgard, and Alt-Bergfeld, have been loudly knacking their zoat on the back of Ernie Friesen’s pick-up truck this weekend in hopes of attracting eligible […]

Unger & Thirst

New Bothwell Resident Arrested for Putting Processed Cheese on His Burger

April 30, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Local man Mr. P_________________, has been arrested and arraigned on charges of failing to use Bothwell cheese at a BBQ this week. “Not only was he not using the best cheese in […]

Unger & Thirst

Google Honours Mennonites with Farmer Sausage Logo

April 24, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA Every once in a while, Google changes its logo in recognition of groups or individuals who have contributed something noteworthy to society. Well, this week, the folks at Google decided to “honour […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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