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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Ten Authentic Mennonite Dishes to Make for Mennonite Heritage Week

September 8, 2019 Andrew

It’s finally here! Mennonite Heritage Week! A time to sit back and reflect on everything that it means to be Mennonite. While you’re arguing in the church lobby about the nuances of being a pacifist […]

Unger & Thirst

Delusional Mennonite Man Thinks His Mom’s Vereniki are Better than Your Mom’s Vereniki

September 6, 2019 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Art Berg, 31, of Leamington, Ontario has a message for the world: “My mom’s vereniki are the best in the world yet!” The message, which he’s plastered on several billboards in the Leamington […]

Unger & Thirst

Mourners Devastated After Mennonite Funeral Runs Short on Raisin Buns

September 5, 2019 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB Thousands of Mennonites were expecting to gorge on raisin buns at the Wiebe funeral this past week, but were left “completely devastated” after the organizers ran out of their supply after just […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Enjoys Romantic Late Night Supper at 4:30 in the Afternoon

September 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. and Mrs. Schroeder were really excited that they somehow managed to snag a reservation at the local Mexican restaurant at the prime time of 4:30 in the afternoon. “I can’t believe it […]

Unger & Thirst

Everyone’s Grandma is the Very Best Cook in the Entire World

August 30, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A report out of the University of Kitchener this week confirms what everyone knew all along that their own grandma is the “very best cook in the entire world.” “We tested the cooking […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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