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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hospitalized After Eating Too Far Into the Green Part

August 4, 2019 Andrew

MANITOBA COLONY, MEXICO Mr. Wiebe had to be rushed to the hospital in Cuauhtemoc this week after he failed to heed the warnings of all those around him and ate well into the green part. […]

Unger & Thirst

Panic Strikes Bible Camp After Tuck Shop Runs Out of Doritos and Pepsi

July 31, 2019 Andrew

CAMP MENNO BIRD, SK The staff at Camp Menno Bird have been on damage control this week after the tuck shop ran out of Doritos and Papsi the very first day. “We simply didn’t order […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finds Romance in the Sausage Aisle at Zehrs

July 29, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON When Miss Susannah Wenger went shopping this past Wednesday in Kitchener, she never thought she’d meet the love of her life in the sausage aisle. “There I was, perusing the wide variety of […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Woman Sells ‘Essential Mennonite Oils’

July 23, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENFELD, SK Local woman Mrs. Hiebert has launched a new alternative medicine program aimed at restoring Mennonites to health and vitality “through a specially designed program of concentrated hydrophobic essential Mennonite oils.” “Through extensive scientific […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Woman Totally Baffled by ‘Honour System’ in Kitchener

July 11, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mrs. Unrau of Winnipeg was visiting friends in southern Ontario who insisted the local butter tarts at City Café Bakery were even better than what she could get back home. “I must say, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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