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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Invites Over Four People but Cooks for Twenty

October 10, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Schellenberg of Winkler decided to invite the Barkmans and Goosens for dinner tonight and since there was going to be a total of six people, she decided to cook a meal for […]

Unger & Thirst

Green Party Photoshops Yerba Mate into Elizabeth May’s Hand

October 7, 2019 Andrew

SIDNEY, BC The Green Party admitted in a press conference this week to having altered a photo of leader Elizabeth May to make it look like she was consuming yerba mate from a gourd. The […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Attends Funerals Just for All the Free Food

September 29, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Doerksen has a busy funeral schedule this week attending all the funerals of people with whom she had only marginal acquaintance. “It’s a good place to stock up on cheese curds and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Waters Down Her Ketchup to Make it Last

September 22, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mrs. Plett decided to add three cups of water to her bottle of ketchup and “bring that stuff back to life.” The practice of watering down ketchup has strong roots in the Mennonite […]

Unger & Thirst

Toronto Woman Caught Smuggling Three Suitcases Full of Farmer Sausage

September 17, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Mrs. Wiebe, 47, of Toronto was caught at the Pearson Airport this week with three suitcases packed full of delicious Mennonite farmer sausage that she obtained on a recent trip to southern Manitoba. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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