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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Blows Entire Co-op Dividend Cheque on Chicken Chef Feast

June 4, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB It seems that his Co-op dividend cheque was burning a whole in his pocket, because just as soon as he could, local man Mr. Thiessen had blown the whole thing on the biggest […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Brings Inferior Zoat to Bonfire

May 31, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Richard Dyck, 57, is facing a slew of criticism this week after bringing something other than Ronnie’s knackzoat to a local bonfire. “I don’t know what came over that man. If […]

Unger & Thirst

Resourceful Mennonite Woman Makes Do With Hamburger Patties and Hot Dog Buns

May 25, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It was a peculiar combination, but Mrs. Doerksen managed to hold a Doerksen family BBQ this weekend even though she’d completely run out of hamburger buns. “Mench ekj saj, the hamburgers come in […]

Unger & Thirst

How To Knack Your Zoat While Wearing A Mask

May 24, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Researchers at the University of Jantsied have spent the past two months solving the greatest challenge facing Mennonites these days: how to knack your zoat while wearing a face mask. Thanks to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach’s Mary Browns Can’t Figure Out Which One of them Opened that New Restaurant

May 22, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than two dozen Mary Browns from the Steinbach area gathered in the parking lot out by Walmart today trying to figure out which one of them was responsible for this new chicken […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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