The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Knackzoat Reservations Surge on Opening Day

April 7, 2021 Andrew

BIRDS HILL, MB On opening day of knackzoat reservations, millions of Manitoba Mennonites rushed to be first to reserve their sunflower seed spitting spot for summer 2021. “We had a great spot at Birds Hill […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Mostly Just in it for the Icing and Sprinkles

April 3, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB For Jack Klassen of Winkler, the faintly lemon-tasting bun of paska is secondary compared to the icing and sprinkles. “Basically, the bun is a receptacle for transporting icing and sprinkles to my mouth,” […]

Unger & Thirst

How old were you when you first began to like borscht?

April 2, 2021 Andrew

As a child of the 1980s, I grew up primarily on Chicken McNuggets with sweet and sour sauce (or barbecue if I’d been good that week), so it was only later in life that I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Making Coleslaw No One Will Eat

March 29, 2021 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Eleanor Funk, 71, has been working tirelessly all day chopping cabbage and mixing it with carrots, lemon juice, mayonnaise, and vinegar in preparation for tomorrow’s delightful Funk Easter gathering in which not a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Frees Up Some Freezer Space to Store Vaccines

March 24, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Grandma Dueck of Rosenort spent her entire weekend making space in her freezer for the new Pfizer vaccine, which she heard requires super low temperatures that only a Mennonite grandma’s freezer can support. […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 60 61 62 … 135 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Boats Full of “Persecuted Mennonite Refugees” Fleeing Trivial Nuisances in Canada
    July 25, 2021
  • Katy Perry Attempts to Make Out with the Wrong Prime Minister
    October 13, 2025
  • Streaker Disrupts Mennonite Church Service
    June 6, 2017
  • Canada Post to Replace Air Mail with New Horse and Buggy Service
    September 29, 2025
  • A List of Things Erroneously Blamed on Violent Video Games
    March 13, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved