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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Pastor Finally Approves Going for Shots in Morden

June 7, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave has finally given the green light for Winklerites to “go have shots in Morden”. First in line was Susan Froese, 35, who had been waiting for this announcement for quite some […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pitcher Throws No-Hitter While High on Yerba Mate

May 27, 2021 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC It was fifty years ago today that Pieta Ens, rookie phenom for the Montreal Axpos, threw a complete game no-hitter while high on what many believe was yerba mate. “His demeanor was erratic, […]

Unger & Thirst

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

May 21, 2021 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The chef at Vancouver’s top restaurant has been feeding the city’s elite for years with his delectable selection of charcuterie. Unfortunately, chef Pierre’s ego took a big hit this weekend after a trip […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers Excited to Have “Shots at the Legion”

May 13, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since it was announced that the old Legion Building on Elm would be the spot of a new vaccine supersite, Steinbachers have been eager to book their time to go for shots […]

Unger & Thirst

Frustrated Mennonite Man Still Waiting for His Cookies

April 28, 2021 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Nearly two weeks after he selected “accept all cookies” on one of his favourite websites, Darryl Krahn of Tofield is still waiting for the baked goods to arrive. “My Helen just tells me, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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