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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Plans to Totally Fe’schlucke Herself Friday Night

April 28, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Alice Braun has been anticipating the ‘Mennonites Laughing’ event at McNally Robinson on Friday night and is already fe’schlucking herself in preparation. “Andrew Unger? Armin Wiebe? Even Corny Rempel yet?” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Faint Line Indicates Presence of Knackzoat in the Blood

April 24, 2022 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK Mr. Derek Wiebe of Waldheim, Saskatchewan is just one in a long line of local residents who’ve tested positive for knackzoat in recent weeks. “I waited the full 15 minutes and it was […]

Unger & Thirst

Rhubarb Sauce Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Perogies

April 22, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Art Wiens, 59, was shocked to discover a dollop of what appeared to be rhubarb sauce on his vereniki this week. “Diewel, Dietschlaund, Schinda! I’m not sure where this rhubarb sauce […]

Unger & Thirst

Hundreds of Horrified Mennonites Served ‘Pasta’ for Easter Sunday after Kitchen Mixup

April 17, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Hundreds of Groenings, Kliewers, and Olferts were looking forward to a delicious serving of lemony buns with sweet icing this Sunday afternoon. However, a mishap in the kitchen resulted in the serving […]

Unger & Thirst

Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply

April 15, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Inclement spring weather has meant the closure of a number of highways that are essential to maintaining the flow of paska into the region. “Highway 75 is closed today, sealing Mennonites off from […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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