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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Quickly Performs Her Own ‘Cabinet Shuffle’ Before Guests Arrive

March 14, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Inspired by the Prime Minister’s new cabinet, Mrs. Elsie Froese of Winkler decided to shift everything around a little bit in her own cabinet so the Wiebes wouldn’t spot her bottle of 2019 […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man’s Been Using the Same McDonald’s Cup for the Past 15 Years

March 5, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Frank Fehr, 72, has been using the very same McDonald’s cup for the past fifteen years, all under the assumption that he can get free refills all he wants. “I haven’t […]

Unger & Thirst

$80 Million Carton of Eggs Smashes Record in Sotheby’s Auction

February 7, 2025 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY A totally normal carton of eggs sold for a record $80 million plus buyer’s premium in a Sotheby’s auction this week, smashing the previous record of $4.50. “I’ve never seen anything like […]

Unger & Thirst

Southeast Event Centre Introduces New Slogan: Fuelled by Formavorscht

January 11, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The new state-of-the-art Southeast Event Centre in downtown Steinbach just unveiled a new slogan that represents the passion and potential of the community – Fuelled by Formavorscht. “More farmer sausage is produced and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Excited that Parliament is Perogied Until March

January 8, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were excited to hear that Parliament is going to be “perogied” until March. The new “perogied” status means that Members of Parliament will basically do nothing but eat […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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