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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

‘Knackzoat Bear’ Tells the Strange True Story of a Grizzly Hooked on Spitz

February 26, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites have been lined up outside the Altona Not-So-Famous Players Theatre this week to see Knackzoat Bear, a film loosely based on the true story of a Grizzly who consumed an entire bag […]

Unger & Thirst

Adventurous Steinbach Couple Discover Strange Exotic New Restaurant Called Burger King

February 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Unraus of Steinbach are known for being among the most adventurous eaters in town, having “tried scallops once,” and even dined at a non-chain restaurant on two or three occasions. “I guess you […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Calls 911 Because Her Whopper is Not a Big Mac

February 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Lines at Steinbach’s brand new Burger King location snaked all the way to Winkler this afternoon, but some locals were not satisfied with what they discovered when they finally arrived at the restaurant. […]

Unger & Thirst

5 Dishes in the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook that No One Actually Makes

February 20, 2023 Andrew

We all know the most famous “Russian Mennonite” dishes like vereniki, schmaunt fat, glums koki, kiekle and roll kuchen, but what if we took a little deeper dive into the “Bible of Mennonite cuisine” aka […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Attends Super Bowl Party Just for the Snacks

February 12, 2023 Andrew

AKRON, PA Even before the opening kickoff, Mrs. Funk had already filled three Tupperware containers with snacks at the West Akron Mennonite Church Super Bowl party. “What a beautiful array of dainties this year,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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