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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV The inaugural Enhanced Games in Las Vegas this week will allow athletes from around the world to compete under the influence of summa borscht. “It’s the first of its kind to allow […]

Unger & Thirst

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Author Andrew Unger started writing satire exactly ten years ago and in that time has posted more than 3000 fake news articles about schmaunt fat. “I began this project as a way to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Klaas Siemens of Rosenort was in the city this week and decided to stop at his favourite restaurant Mongo’s Grill, where he set a new record for successfully piling the most ingredients into […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Algorithm Nothing But Vereniki

May 1, 2026 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Ever since she started following the Unger Review last month, Mrs. Annie Martens’s Facebook feed has been nothing but vereniki. “They’ve got me figured out,” said Martens. “Glums vereniki, blueberry vereniki. Close-ups of […]

Unger & Thirst

King Charles: “White House Dinner Not as Delicious as the Vereniki I Had in Steinbach Back in 1970”

April 30, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC King Charles III was treated to a gourmet state dinner at the White House this week, but the monarch said it failed in comparison to the most memorable meal of his life. “I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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