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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Alberta Man Votes to Stay in Canada After Discovering Honey Dill Sauce

June 15, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB Area man Gary Froese, 51, has undergone a radical change in heart about Alberta separatism after a trip to a family funeral in Manitoba this week. “We had the raisin buns and cheese […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly

June 2, 2026 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB Disappointed with the lack of rhubarb-flavoured options, diehard Bubly-drinker Evelen Sawatzky of Randolph, Manitoba has taken matters into her own hands. “Basically I just gather all the run-off water after I’m done washing […]

Unger & Thirst

Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV The inaugural Enhanced Games in Las Vegas this week will allow athletes from around the world to compete under the influence of summa borscht. “It’s the first of its kind to allow […]

Unger & Thirst

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Author Andrew Unger started writing satire exactly ten years ago and in that time has posted more than 3000 fake news articles about schmaunt fat. “I began this project as a way to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Klaas Siemens of Rosenort was in the city this week and decided to stop at his favourite restaurant Mongo’s Grill, where he set a new record for successfully piling the most ingredients into […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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