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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026 Andrew

SELKIRK, MB Local accountant Bobby Hamm of Selkirk says he’s sick and tired of hiding his true identity and will be known as Bobby Schinkjefleisch from now on. “It was time,” said Schinkjefleisch. “I’ve been […]

Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The City of Steinbach is urging residents to boil their schmaunt fat this afternoon after a private contractor accidentally damaged the pipe that supplies locals with clean fresh white cream gravy. “If it […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026 Andrew

ARBORG, MB Area man Dan Wiens was just about finished his meatloaf and mashed potatoes this evening when the server finally popped by to see how the first few bites tasted. “Umm, it was good,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt

April 2, 2026 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The Koops gathered in Leamington this Sunday for the annual Koop Paska bun hunt. This year the delicious white icing was delicately applied by Oma Koop right before the uncles hid the buns […]

Unger & Thirst

Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

March 19, 2026 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB A visiting couple from southern Manitoba made a shocking discovery in La Crete, Alberta this week: strawberries on vereniki. “Nah, oba, I’ve never even heard of such,” said Andrew Unger of Steinbach. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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