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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Jello Fruit Salad Proves Too Tempting for Mennonite Man

May 17, 2023 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Mr. Jeremy Goerzen of Tofield, Alberta could not resist the siren call of Jello fruit salad this week and wound up hospitalized with a “really awfully tummy ache.” “Oi yoi yoi, that was […]

Unger & Thirst

Funeral Cancelled After Bridge Fire Cuts Off Cheese Curd Supply

May 11, 2023 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Funerals in the area were cancelled today after a bridge fire cut off access to the cheese curd factory in New Bothwell. “Jauma, no cheese curds? Looks like we’ll have to postpone […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finally Finds Some Suitable Olive Oil

May 4, 2023 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC As Aganetha Kliewer, 72, of Chilliwack wandered the aisles of the local grocery store this week she was very excited to discovery an olive oil that was seemingly made just for her: extra […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Proposes Massive Sunflower Field for Portage and Main

May 2, 2023 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Adding to the long list of brilliant new proposals for Winnipeg’s most famous intersection, local man Abe B. Wall has submitted a proposal to convert Portage and Main into a massive field of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Young People Invade Perkins on Fermor

April 28, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After attending a Christian punk rock show at Southdale Baptist, a group of Mennonite College and Career kids from Steinbach have decided to stop for some French Silk pie and coffee at Perkins […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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