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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Salads Consist Mostly of Whipped Cream

January 27, 2018 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON First-time attendees at a recent church potluck were shocked to discover just what passes for salad in Mennonite country. The Bennett family of Toronto ventured out of the big city to visit relatives […]

Unger & Thirst

A List of Mennonite Fortune Cookie Messages

January 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A Chinese restaurant in the Steinbach area is offering a local twist on the traditional fortune cookie. Instead of general message of good fortune, the cookies will now contain more distinctly Mennonite fortunes. […]

Unger & Thirst

Ancient Zwieback Recipe Discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls

January 22, 2018 Andrew

HAIFA, ISRAEL Scientists at Haifa University were shocked to discover a recipe for the dry Mennonite bread known as “zwieback” in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The fragment was the last to be translated and the […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Left Waiting Awkwardly at the Table for Mennonite Couple to Finish Praying

January 21, 2018 Andrew

FARGO, ND Poor Diana, a third year NDSU student and part-time server at Chili’s, was left standing at the table for half an hour holding a Mix & Match trio of steak, shrimp and chicken […]

Unger & Thirst

Tide Pods Added to Grandma’s Delightful Faspa Spread

January 20, 2018 Andrew

YARROW, BC Having heard something of this whole “Tide Pod craze” from her grandchildren, Mrs. Neufeld of Yarrow, 69, decided to spice up the faspa last Sunday by adding a delightful selection of laundry detergent […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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