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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Politician Splits from Conservatives to Form the Tupperware Party

August 23, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It seems Maxine Bernier is not the only one leaving the Conservative Party to form one of his own. Mennonite MP Cassandra Petkau of the Neuhochenfeld Riding has become disgruntled and is seeking […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Drives 20 Miles Before Realizing McDonald’s Drive-Thru Didn’t Give Him Any Ketchup

August 20, 2018 Andrew

HIGHWAY 44, MB Winnipeg man Richard Giesbrecht, 47, was well on his way to Whitemouth Lake this weekend before he realized that, once again, the McDonald’s drive-thru had failed to provide him with any ketchup. […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Finally Legalizes Sundae Shopping

August 19, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Things sure are changing in the growing city of Steinbach. After heated debate this week, Steinbach city council voted 4 to 3 in favour of legalizing sundae shopping. “This is something that has […]

Unger & Thirst

Three Hours Later, Mennonite Man Still Working on that Piece of Chokecherry Pie

August 12, 2018 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Late last night Mennonite man, Samuel Fehr, 35,  was spotted at a Rosetown picnic shelter working his way through a piece of Oma’s chokecherry pie. Authorities intevened when Fehr was still there after […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Beached on the Shores of Lake Winnipeg

August 11, 2018 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB A 43-year-old man from over by Reinland somewheres was found beached on the shores of Lake Winnipeg this weekend. Thankfully locals were able to keep him hydrated with Rogers Golden Syrup while […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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