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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Approves ‘Scandalous’ New Hemline

November 15, 2018 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK More than thirty parishioners fainted at the Harder-Dyck wedding in Swift Current this past Sunday after the bride sported a wedding dress with an ‘outrageous’ hemline just above the ankles. “The elders […]

Unger Conviction

Study Reveals 70% of Mennonites Don’t Know All the Dance Moves to Hymn 606

November 11, 2018 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA A new study out of Southeastern Mennonite University has revealed that a shocking 70% of Mennonites no longer know all the dance moves to Hymn 606. “It’s a shame,” said Mennonite anthropologist and […]

Unger Conviction

“The Last Shall Be First, and the First Shall Be Last”: Sermon Causes Traffic Jam in Mennonite Town

November 10, 2018 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK Vehicles were backed up for blocks in the small Mennonite town of Martensville this week after Pastor Martens gave a particularly stirring sermon on Matthew 20. “The last shall be first, and the […]

Unger Conviction

Sunday School Teacher Becomes Stuck to Flannelgraph Board

October 30, 2018 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Parademics had to be called to the local Kleine Gemeinde church this past week after grade 2 Sunday School teacher Annie Friesen, 76, became stuck to the flannelgraph board. “We get flannelgraph-related calls […]

Unger Conviction

Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots

October 27, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In an effort to reduce lineups and assist the voting process, a local group is petitioning Steinbach to include each candidate’s church affiliation on all future ballots. “It’s the most important information there […]

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