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Unger Conviction

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Mennonite Pastor Dresses Up as Lutheran this Morning

October 31, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Pastor Jim of South Abbotsford Mennonite decided he’d dress up in as scary a costume as he could think of: a Lutheran. “You should have seen the look on Mrs. Klassen’s face,” said […]

Unger Conviction

10 Totally Bogus Religious Exemptions You Can Demand Right Now!

October 29, 2021 Andrew

Got a pebble in your shoe? Is something irking or irritating you? Are you looking for a totally bogus religious exemption? Well, you’ve come to the right place! As of today, I’m officially declaring the […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Consists Entirely of Just Kehlers

October 25, 2021 Andrew

GRUENHIMMEL, SK New records reveal that an area Mennonite church is made up entirely of just one large Kehler family and a few women who’ve married in. “No wonder they call it the Kehler Church,” […]

Unger Conviction

Sanctuary Evacuated After Mennonite Man Farts in Church

October 24, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON The entire west side of the Third Mennonite Church sanctuary had to be cleared this morning after local man Darryl Driedger audibly farted while the offering plate was being passed around. “The […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Service Brigade Defends Church Basement from Invading Pioneer Girls

October 21, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than two dozen Tadpoles and Treeclimbers ran for cover behind upturned Chesterfields in the Youth Room last night as the Pioneer Girls stormed into the basement to sew badges onto their sashes. […]

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