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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Artificial Intelligence Puts Mennonite Pastor Out of Work

April 5, 2023 Andrew

At The Unger Review, we’re always trying to make things easier for Mennonite pastors. They spend enough time each week visiting Taunte Tina at the manor, or breaking up post-trib pre-trib debates among parishioners. So […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Claim TV is Just for Watching Billy Graham Specials

April 4, 2023 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE Caught with a television set in their home this week by the church vice squad, the Friesens of Henderson, Nebraska claim they only really use the TV for the two allowable reasons – […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds

March 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB According to tax returns, residents of Steinbach, Manitoba tithe at a much higher rate than any other community in the country. “This is truly a generous community when it comes to paying pastors’ […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Bans TikTok From All Devices … But Only the Dancing Videos

March 3, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB The Southern La Crete MEMMCBM church has decided the risk of youth watching dance videos is too great and thus TikTok must be banned. “But we’re not killjoys or something. The dancing […]

Unger Conviction

AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season

February 23, 2023 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Eighth Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas obliged all its members to show up and approve the budget right in the middle of the big game this past week. “Yeah, well, too bad. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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