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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Embarks on Worldwide ‘Eras Tour’

November 25, 2023 Andrew

FERNHEIM COLONY, PARAGUAY Pastor Dave R. Schmidt of Fernheim Colony, Paraguay has just announced a worldwide ‘Eras Tour’ during which he plans to preach sermons and sing songs representing 500 years of Mennonite history and […]

Unger Conviction

Abbotsford Music Fans Demand Brian Doerksen Open for Taylor Swift

November 21, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A petition had been circulating in local MB church lobbies this week to have the Fraser Valley’s most popular worship leader Brian Doerksen open up for Taylor Swift in Vancouver next year. “Can […]

Unger Conviction

Snoop Dogg Gives Up Smoking after Joining Mennonite Church

November 18, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Rap icon Snoop Dogg made headlines this week after declaring that he will no longer partake in cannabis. Further investigation revealed that the dramatic lifestyle change came after an encounter with a Mennonite […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Accused of Flipping Off the Pastor

November 9, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Abe Eby of Kitchener, Ontario says it’s all just a misunderstanding. Witnesses say that this Sunday, during a particularly stirring sermon about tithing, Mr. Eby was seen “flipping the bird” at Pastor David. […]

Unger Conviction

Daring Mennonite Couple Decide to Share a Bulletin this Sunday

November 6, 2023 Andrew

OSLER, SK Mike and Susan Brandt of Osler were confronted with an unusual dilemma this weekend – should they each take their own bulletin or use the very same one? “Good morning,” said head usher […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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