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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Introduces New See-Through Coffee

February 18, 2024 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB In an effort to increase “transparency” within the church community, the North Rosenort Mennonite Church will now be serving its innovative new see-through coffee. “Jauma, I can see all the way to the […]

Unger Conviction

Retailers Quick to Cash In as Foot Washing Becomes Latest Gen Z Trend

February 17, 2024 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS It’s the wave that’s sweeping the nation: foot-washing. Millennials, Gen Zers – you name it, they’re doing it. After a popular Super Bowl commercial last week, retailers were quick to capitalize on the […]

Unger Conviction

Nation Eliminates Poverty with $100 Million Investment in Jesus Commercials

February 13, 2024 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV The United States of America is close to becoming the first country on earth to eliminate poverty this week after the airing of a $100 million Super Bowl commercial that, apparently, promots […]

Unger Conviction

‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ Reaches #1 on iTunes Chart Nearly 5 Centuries After its Release

February 6, 2024 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA It’s happened to Tracy Chapman and Kate Bush and now it seems a 500-year-old hymn has also entered the charts long after its release. This week ‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ […]

Unger Conviction

Chaos in Church Kitchen as Pickle Dishes Discovered in Cream and Sugar Cupboard

February 5, 2024 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Chaos erupted in the South Grunthal Mennonite church kitchen this week after the labels fell off the cupboards, leaving pickle dishes in with cream and sugar and teaspoons in the chipped saucer drawer. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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