TORONTO, ON
It seems all the embarrassing defeats by Team Canada at the Olympics this year will not go to waste as Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a plan to use all the unwanted medals to built that high speed rail line everyone’s been talking about.
“When completed it’ll stretch from Toronto to Montreal,” said Carney. “And with all the discarded silvers and bronzes we got this year, I’m sure we have more than enough raw material to make it happen.”
Ottawa announced a new Medal Buyback Program to any athletes who were dissatisfied with their performance.
“We’re expecting a big haul from the men’s and women’s hockey teams,” said Carney. “Plus a few more here and there. I gotta tell you there are enough Olympic medals to get us well on the way with that rail line. Probably can get us to Kingston or even further.”
Rumours have it that this may have been the plan all along.
“People are really rallying around the flag. Everyone’s doing their part,” said Carney. “Losing in the Olympic finals is just one more way to give back to the country.”
The new Olympic medal-paved rail line is expected to open sometime in 2028 just after the Summer Games.
