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Unger Games

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It seems all the embarrassing defeats by Team Canada at the Olympics this year will not go to waste as Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a plan to use all the unwanted […]

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Eyes $10 Billion Monorail

May 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Looking for a way to speed up transportation from the MCC store downtown to the Walmart out on the highway, Steinbach residents are now seriously considering a new citywide monorail system. “It’ll stop […]

Unger the Influence

Feds Announce New High-Speed Rail Line Between Morden and Winkler

February 19, 2025 Andrew

MORDEN-WINKLER, MB Days before the upcoming election, the federal government has committed upwards of $80 billion to build a high-speed rail line in the five mile stretch between Morden and Winkler. “There will be stops […]

Unger Conviction

Divine Intervention? Really Long Train Prevents Mennonite Couple from Entering the City

October 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The really freakin’ long train on Marion Street last night was seen as a sign of divine intervention by the Ungers of Blumenort. “Ugh, I guess we’re not supposed to go to that […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg to Relocate Trains to Keep Out Worldly Influences

October 16, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Mennonites of southern Manitoba had it all figured out 150 years ago it seems. The City of Winnipeg is now considering the possibility of moving the rail yards out of the city. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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