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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

New Zealand Prime Minister Really Upset Over Canadian Olympic Drone Scandal

July 26, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The use of a spy drone by the Canadian Olympic soccer team has got the Prime Minister of New Zealand mighty upset. “This is outrageous,” said Prime Minister Pippin during second breakfast. “You’ve […]

Unger Suspicion

“Man does not live by bread alone”: Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Quotes Jesus to Defend Price-Fixing Scheme

July 25, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After a court ruling found the company guilty of bread price-fixing, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston cited the words of Jesus in defence of the company’s actions. “Man does not live by bread alone,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Most Famous People with Every Mennonite Surname

July 24, 2024 Andrew

Have you ever wondered who is the most famous person with your surname? No? Well, you’re just being humble, I suppose. And that’s okay. But for those Mennonites who have less-than-traditional views on this matter, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Takes Extra Shot of Ozempic Before Lunch at Oma’s

July 23, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area man Cameron Hiebert has been trying to inject his way into good health for quite some time, but that hasn’t stopped him from devouring a nice plate of vereniki and formavorscht when […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Divorce After Conflict Over Air Conditioner Temperature

July 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eight years of wedded bliss is all over for the Epps of North Kildonan this week, after an apparent marriage-ending fight over the AC temperature. “She wanted it at 23, while I prefer […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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