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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mysterious Steinbach Mineral Claims Finally Revealed

February 28, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than a year, a secretive Alberta company has been buying up the mineral rights for a massive area surrounding the city of Steinbach. The precise nature of the mineral rights purchase has been kept under […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Wins Lifetime Achievement Oscar

February 27, 2017 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA Mennonite woman Deborah Kehler of Bergfeld, Manitoba was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Oscars last night for “more than 70 years of putting a smile on her face and pretending that everything is just […]

Unger & Thirst

Young Man Swears Off Farmer Sausage When He Discovers the Truth About Natural Casings

February 27, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Herman Loeppky, 21, of the La Crete area took to Facebook on Thursday to express his revulsion upon learning just exactly what his Mom had been cooking him every Monday, Thursday, and Friday […]

The Daily Bonnet

Adventurous Mennonite Couple Discovers a Whole World Beyond St. Vital Centre

February 26, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. and Mrs. Jakob and Helena Funk of Lowe Farm were recently shocked to discover that there was more to the provincial capital than a suburban mall. “For decades we’ve just been driving between […]

Unger Suspicion

Knels and Annie Krahn Make Their Oscar Picks

February 26, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mennonite television and movie critics, Knels and Annie Krahn of Aylmer, are back to help you fill out your Oscar ballot for the 89th Academy Awards. Best Picture  Knels: “Da two frontrunners are […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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