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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Almost Fornicates With His Own Wife

April 19, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After hearing a fiery sermon on marital purity at the local Mennonite church, area man Mr. Petey B. Krahn has vowed never to fornicate with his wife again. However, he nearly broke […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers Mourn the Loss of Taco Bell

April 19, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For almost 20 years Steinbachers have flocked to Taco Bell for a taste of home in Chihuahua. It seems, however, that the new KFC restaurant will not be serving these delicious Mexican treats. […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them

April 18, 2017 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A sovereigntist group in Quebec, the Front de Liberation de Quebec and Other Parts of Canada, or FLQOPC for short, is demanding that in the event of Quebec’s separation from Canada, that tiny […]

Uncategorized

Dozens of MPs Come Forward During House of Commons Altar Call

April 18, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Not wanting to miss an opportunity to spread the Good News, back bench opposition MP Pete Friesen of Saskatchewan stood up during Question Period this past week and invited everyone to come forward and confess their […]

The Daily Bonnet

60% of Manitobans Claim to be Cousins of Jonathan Toews

April 17, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A new poll shows that just over 60% of the Manitoba population claims to be related to NHL star Jonathan Toews. “When you’ve got someone as famous as Jonathan Toews, suddenly everyone and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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