The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

7 Mennonite Sisters Marry 7 Mennonite Brothers in Epic Septuple Wedding

October 30, 2017 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Brothers Jeff, Peter, Steve, Colin, John, Abe, and Patrick Brandt married sisters Rose, Mary Ann, Sally, Susan, Nettie, Aileen and Ruth Janzen in Rosetown’s largest ever wedding this past week. “There’s just something […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Switches Between English and Plautdietsch a Record 3000 Times in a Single Conversation

October 29, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Earl Peters reverted to Plautdietsch more than 3000 times during an hour-long conversation about beets with his friend Dan Friesen at the coffee shop this past week. The intermittent Plautdietsch usage […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thrift Store Confuses Shot Glasses for Candle Holders

October 28, 2017 Andrew

NEW HOLLAND, PA More than three dozen shot glasses were mislabeled as candleholders at the local MCC store this week. It was the largest mislabeling of booze containers since volunteers at the MB church confused […]

Unger & Thirst

Death Row Inmate Requests Mennonite Food for Last Meal

October 26, 2017 Andrew

HUNTSVILLE, TX A death row inmate, set for execution by electric chair this week, has requested a hearty Mennonite meal of vereneki, schmaunt fat, formavorscht, buttasup and an entire tray of rhubarb platz for his […]

Unger Conviction

Four-Part Harmony Slashed to Three After Recent Budget Cuts

October 25, 2017 Andrew

BUHLER, KS In response to recent budgetary pressures, the elder board at West Buhler Mennonite Church has decided to eliminate the tenor part from all songs sung on Sundays. “Times are tough. We had to […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 602 603 604 … 742 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Heroic Mennonite Woman Stops Her Husband from Eating the Soap
    July 20, 2021
  • Pipeline to Supply Calgary With Toronto Water
    July 17, 2024
  • Mennonite Woman Watches ‘Black Panther’, Can’t Figure Out Which One Is Peter Sellers
    June 8, 2018
  • Millions Show Up for Mennonite Church Service in Upstate New York
    August 15, 2019
  • After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied
    December 16, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved