Quizzes
Quiz: What Do You Know About Quakers?
Normally, we focus on Mennonites around these parts, but Quakers are close enough…or are they? We’ll find out. What we do know is that they’re so much more than just oats and oil. If you’re […]
Articles by Andrew
The Daily Bonnet
Apple Introduces New Siri Voice with Mennonite Accent
CUPERTINO, CA Recent changes to Apple’s Siri and Maps mean that Mennonites across the Americas will have the chance to receive directions to the nearest Chicken Chef in a comforting Plautdietsch accent. Starting January 15, […]
Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Woman’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ Declared Worst Dessert at Church Bake Sale
WICHITA, KS The Wichita Mennonite Church Bake Sale generated lower than expected revenue this week, due in part to the extreme unpopularity of Mrs. Deirdre Jansen’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ dessert. The dessert, a variation […]
Unger & Thirst
Tim Hortons Raises Starting Wage to 15 Timbits an Hour
OAKVILLE, ON In response to widespread criticism of recent cuts to employee benefits in some of its stores, iconic Canadian donut chain Tim Hortons has graciously decided to raise its starting wage from 12 Timbits […]
Unger Games
Canadian Men’s Hockey Team is Mostly Just Random Dudes from Your Church Floor Hockey League
BRANDON, MB The Canadian Olympic Men’s hockey team was announced Thursday and it turns out most of the guys are just random dudes from your church floor hockey league. “With the NHL boycotting the Olympics […]