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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wows Audience with Stunning Performance of that Piano Song You Play with Your Knuckles

March 30, 2018 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local man Timothy Warkentin left audiences at South Abbotsford EMB stunned this week after his performance of that song you play by rolling your knuckles over a few black keys. It was the […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandkids Still Reluctant to Go Anywhere Near Grandma’s Plumi Moos

March 29, 2018 Andrew

REINLAND, MB The unveiling of Grandma’s famous Easter plumi moos this Sunday sent Little Erika and Paul Brandt running for the hills and screaming at the top of their lungs. Erika, 4, and Paul, 6, […]

Unger Suspicion

Rare Patch of Smooth Road Discovered in Winnipeg

March 28, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Thiessen of North Kildonan was utterly shocked to discover a short patch of completely smooth road in Winnipeg during a visit to the Linden Woods neighbourhood this weekend. “What the hell is […]

Unger Conviction

Dating Couple Finds Convenient Loophole in Purity Pledge

March 27, 2018 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA College juniors, Matt Lewis and Bethany Lehman, are among thousands of American young people to sign pledges committing themselves to “remain pure until marriage.” Luckily for the newly dating couple, however, they were able to […]

Unger Conviction

Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’

March 26, 2018 Andrew

KLEINFELD, SK In the 1920s, the small town of Kleinfeld had more than a dozen Mennonite churches of various shapes and sizes. In 2018, all the churches are still around, though over the years most of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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