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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens of Mennonite Women Left Homeless After Tornado Strikes MCC Store

January 18, 2018 Andrew

KJRIESELSTORM, KS More than thirty Mennonite women have been left without any place to go after a tornado ripped through the heart of a local MCC Thrift Store yesterday afternoon. “They’re here all the time. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lit Match Insufficient After Dad’s Been in There

January 17, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Sawatzky family of Edmonton has discovered the hard way that a single lit match is wholly insufficient to mask the mysterious odour that often emanates from the bathroom after Dad’s been in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dear Martha Reimer (Mennonite Advice Column)

January 16, 2018 Andrew

Dear Martha Reimer, A while ago I went to the doctor to have my bunions checked and when I took off my brown nylons and felt his warm rough manly hands on my bunions, I […]

Quizzes

Quiz: What Do You Know About Quakers?

January 16, 2018 Andrew

Normally, we focus on Mennonites around these parts, but Quakers are close enough…or are they? We’ll find out. What we do know is that they’re so much more than just oats and oil. If you’re […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Introduces New Siri Voice with Mennonite Accent

January 15, 2018 Andrew

CUPERTINO, CA Recent changes to Apple’s Siri and Maps mean that Mennonites across the Americas will have the chance to receive directions to the nearest Chicken Chef in a comforting Plautdietsch accent. Starting January 15, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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