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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Offers Customers Financial Compensation for the Embarrassment of Driving a Volkswagen

January 3, 2018 Andrew

WOLFSBURG, GERMANY After executive Oliver Schmidt was sentenced to seven years in prison for the Volkswagen emissions scandal, the German automaker is now offering embarrassed customers financial compensation for the “utter humiliation of having to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Gets Second Bathroom

January 3, 2018 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB After years of sharing the same washroom, local couple, Walter and Susanna Martens, have finally decided to upgrade their Landmark bungalow by adding a luxurious second bathroom. “As soon as I saw those […]

Unger Conviction

Church with 250 Members Splits into 250 Churches

January 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After a particularly heated membership meeting this past week, the South Lancaster Mennonite Church has decided to split the entire congregation into more manageable units of one. “At first we decided to just […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Gallery of Hilarious Mennonite Gravestones

January 1, 2018 Andrew

One of the best ways to learn about your history and heritage is to take a walk through one of the local cemeteries. You may be shocked at what you find. Here are some of […]

Unger & Thirst

After Last Night Hanover Municipality Renamed ‘Hangover’

January 1, 2018 Andrew

HANGOVER, MB After a night in which dozens of Mennonite in the Hanover area drank copious amounts of Papsi and water, area residents have voted to rename the area ‘Hangover.’ “Ugh, after three Papsis and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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