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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

How to Get That Perfect Mennonite ‘Dad Bod’ You Always Wanted

June 17, 2018 Andrew

Shocking as the results may be, surveys suggest the majority of women prefer a ‘Dad bod’ to a more well-sculpted physique. Therefore, in an effort to kindle some romance this summer, The Daily Bonnet has […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Awarded Their Very Own Chicken Chef Franchise

June 16, 2018 Andrew

KLEINSCHANTZ, MB The MB church in the tiny Mennonite village of Kleinschantz has been awarded their very own Chicken Chef franchise, which will begin operation in the church basement this fall. “Oba, our vary own […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Rush to Get Their Cars Outside During Hail Storm

June 15, 2018 Andrew

PETERSFELD, SK Mennonites across the region were in a panic to get their cars out onto the streets during the record hail storm last week. “With golfball-ball sized hail like that, how else can I […]

Unger Suspicion

101 Reasons for Americans to Hate Canada

June 14, 2018 Andrew

Dear America, Where did it all go wrong? We used to be good such good friends. What happened? All of a sudden you’re best pals with North Korea and Russia and we’re being told there’s […]

Unger Games

2018 FIFA Mennonite World Cup Rankings

June 14, 2018 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA FIFA has announced its final rankings just before the 2018 Mennonite World Cup in Russia. Some of these rankings have us a little baffled. Let’s have a look. 1) Russia  – Some have […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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