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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company

May 8, 2019 Andrew

PANSY, MB Local woman Mrs. Goerzen passed away this week after a long and courageous battle to change her data package with her service provider. Goerzen was reportedly on hold with the company since early […]

Unger Conviction

Church Launches New Program: ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Staying All Night?’

May 7, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Newton New Mennonite Church has just launched an innovative new program meant to encourage church-goers to get to know each other better. In the program, members sign up to host perfect strangers […]

Unger & Thirst

Squeaky Cheese Curds Heard a Mile Away

May 6, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Unbeknownst to Mr. Penner, his fresh squeaky cheese curds could be heard over a mile away at the Loewen farm. “I heard this squeaky sound and I knew instantly they must be […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Sews World’s Largest Rag Rug

May 5, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Working at a feverish pace while her husband Norm watched Jets games this winter, Mrs. Edna Dueck of Blumenhof is on pace to create the world’s largest rag rug by the end of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Hasn’t Used Her Wedding China in Over Forty Years

May 4, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON In a heartfelt confession during church prayer time this week, Mrs. Froese, 65, of Aylmer confessed that she hadn’t used her wedding china in nearly four decades. “It’s just sat in my china […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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