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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Taunte Helen’s Coleslaw Declared ‘National Historic Site’

April 4, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOFF, MB A coleslaw that Taunte Helen brought over from the old country in the 1920s and continues to serve at potlucks and family gatherings has been declared a ‘National Historic Site’ by the government […]

Unger Suspicion

“Because it’s 2019,” Trudeau Says as He Ejects Women from Caucus

April 3, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Deciding that the “whole crazy experiment” of having a diverse range of opinions in his caucus and cabinet was a “bad idea” after all, Prime Minister Trudeau has removed Jody Wilson-Raybould and Jane […]

Unger Conviction

Church Accountability Group Keeps Men From Saying Stupid Stuff on the Internet

April 2, 2019 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC A new measure at the local Mennonite church seeks to address every man’s secret temptation: saying stupid stuff on the Internet. The program, which places men in accountability partnerships, encourages local men to […]

Unger Conviction

“Hymn 606 is Over-rated,” Declares Mennonite Hipster

April 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tyson Hendrix-Wiebe, a 22-year-old CMU student, caused quite a stir on social media this week after declaring Hymn 606 to be “like, totally, over-rated.” “All those people who claim they like 606 are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Landfill to Get their Hands on Some Free Mattresses

March 31, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, MB Ever since the Blumenbach Landfill announced that they would now be accepting mattresses, Mennonites across the region have been flocking to the site to both discard and acquire these precious items. “Once you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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