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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Winkler Welcomes the Return of Legendary 60s Folk Duo ‘Peter Pauls and Mary’

August 1, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Winklerites have been snatching up tickets to see the long-awaited return of legendary 60s folk rock duo Peter Pauls and Mary. “Oba, I remember them since the charch picnic in 1964,” said Mr. […]

Unger & Thirst

Panic Strikes Bible Camp After Tuck Shop Runs Out of Doritos and Pepsi

July 31, 2019 Andrew

CAMP MENNO BIRD, SK The staff at Camp Menno Bird have been on damage control this week after the tuck shop ran out of Doritos and Papsi the very first day. “We simply didn’t order […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cognitive Biases Explained to Mennonites

July 30, 2019 Andrew

A while back, we took some time to explain logical fallacies to Mennonites. Today, we’re going to look at something a little different: cognitive biases. These are the psychological shortcuts your mind takes that can […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finds Romance in the Sausage Aisle at Zehrs

July 29, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON When Miss Susannah Wenger went shopping this past Wednesday in Kitchener, she never thought she’d meet the love of her life in the sausage aisle. “There I was, perusing the wide variety of […]

Unger Conviction

Goldmine of Discarded Gospel Records Discovered at Local Thrift Store

July 28, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Dozens of discarded vintage gospel records were discovered at a local Self-Help this week. The titles ranged from “Music of the Mennonite Church” by the Men’s Chorus at First Mennonite Church in Berne, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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