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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Government Now Requiring Masks to Fully Cover Douchey Neck Tattoos

May 3, 2021 Andrew

THUNDER BAY, ON After nationwide protests saw a “disturbing” presence of neck tattoos, bleach-blonde hair, and mirrored sunglasses, the Government of Canada issued a new health advisory requiring “all douchey neck tattoos” to be fully […]

Unger Suspicion

Millions Flee “Communist” Canada for a Better Life in Russia

May 2, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Millions of angry Trudeau-hating mask-hating Canadians have left the country en masse and are heading for a new glorious life in post-Soviet Russia. “Ever since Canada became a Communist country a few months […]

Unger Suspicion

Young People Wonder Just What Kind of World They’re Leaving for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards

May 1, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX As environmental destruction seems to be increasing every day, young people across America are concerned about what kind of a world they’re going to leave for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards. “When you […]

Unger Conviction

“Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants

April 30, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, ON Canada’s most freedom-loving pastor, Apostle Hank, is all about liberty and personal freedoms without any coercion or undue influence from authority figures. “Our freedoms are being eroded daily!” exclaimed Apostle Hank to a […]

Unger Suspicion

Embarrassing New Photos Catch Casey and Finnegan at Nudist Colony

April 29, 2021 Andrew

PATRICIA BEACH, MB As temperatures soared this week, thousands of Canadians flocked to the beach for some summer fun. For famed CBC stars Casey and Finnegan it was their first time showing their true colours. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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