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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Having Real Difficulty Solving this Maze

October 18, 2021 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Local man Peter Hildebrandt, 61, was one of, like, fifteen Ontarians who managed to successfully obtain their QR codes today, but spent the better part of the afternoon trying to solve the darn […]

Unger & Thirst

Glass at Edge of Table Patiently Awaits Refill

October 17, 2021 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Andy Koop, 81, placed his empty glass at the edge of the table at the Hamm Dawg Haus this Sunday in an effort to alert serving staff of his urgent need […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Vegans Make Exception for Farmer Sausage

October 16, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Pembina Vegan and Vegetarian Appreciation Society met last week and, after a heated discussion, voted overwhelmingly to allow for the consumption of one meat product and one meat product alone: farmer sausage. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen from Reimer Avenue to Visit Reimer from Friesen Avenue

October 15, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Friesen of Reimer Avenue had a splendid evening chatting about politics and kids these days with Mr. Reimer of Friesen Avenue. “Last week I had Mr. Brandt of Loewen Blvd. and Mr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Spectacular Northern Mennonites Light Up the Night Sky

October 14, 2021 Andrew

SELKIRK, MB Thousands of people across North America set up their cameras last night to witness a specular show by the Northern Mennonites. “We had Menno Simons. Dirk Willems. Even Miriam Toews made an appearance,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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