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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Joe Rogan Burns All His Neil Young Records

January 26, 2022 Andrew

NEWARK, NJ After legendary Canadian rock icon Neil Young threatened to pull his music from Spotify unless misinformationophile Joe Rogan left the platform, the UFC commentator/health expert has lashed out against Young by holding a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Daily Bonnet Book Mysteriously Discovered in Fiction Section

January 24, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Annie Loewen of Saskatoon was eager to spend her Christmas money at her local McNally Robinson Booksellers this weekend, but had real trouble finding that Daily Bonnet book anywhere. “I looked all over […]

Unger Games

Djokovic Retires from Tennis to Take on Trucking Job in Canada

January 23, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After dominating the sport of tennis for the past two decades, Novak Djokovic plans to use his immense talents to single-handedly solve the supply chain problem in Canada. “Got my Class 1 license […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women Concerned Daughter Might Be In Some Sort of Cult

January 22, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After seeing a number of “concerning social media postings” in the past few days, Mrs. Dierdre Janzen, 71, of Fresno has consulted with the elder board and determined that her daughter Audrey is […]

Unger Suspicion

Putin and Biden to Form New Metal Band ‘Minor Incursion’

January 21, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA After high level talks this weekend, Russian President Vladimir Putin has decided to team up with his American counterpart Joe Biden in a “new heavy metal side project called Minor Incursion.” “We’ve only […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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