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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Debit Machine Tip Options Strike Terror Into Mennonite Man

July 10, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. Goertzen enjoyed his lovely meal of schnitzel at Ralph’s German Restaurant this afternoon, but was paralyzed with fear when the debit machine came to the table and he was presented with various […]

Unger & Thirst

Church Picnic Offers Delightful Array of Vegetarian Options

July 9, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Vegetarians at South Winkler Memorial Evangelical Mennonite Bible Church were left with a delectable array of options at the church picnic this week, which included either white or even brown buns. “We’ve got […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Visits Every Single MB Church in the Fraser Valley

July 8, 2022 Andrew

YARROW, BC The Pletts of Yarrow have become the first couple ever to visit every single MB church in the Fraser Valley. “We try to visit about 30 to 40 MB churches per year,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Neighbourhood Church Has Staff of 30 Pastors for Some Reason

July 7, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The local Waters of Thankful Fellowship church has an average weekly attendance of just over 200 people but has a pastoral staff of more than 30 full time positions for some reason. “Here […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends Two Hours Selecting Least Awkward Urinal

July 6, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona man Pat Rempel, 47, spent more than two hours selecting the proper urinal position during a trip to a Winnipeg shopping mall this week. “Okay, okay, Pat, you can do this,” he […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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