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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

‘Huge Adele Fan’ Discovers She’s Actually Been Listening to Lauren Daigle for the Past Five Years

May 16, 2022 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Area woman Erin Augsburger has been listening to what she thought was Adele for more than 4 years now and only recently discovered it was actually someone named Lauren Daigle. “I’ve been low-key […]

Unger & Thirst

Second Bag of Old Dutch Chips Discovered in Box

May 15, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area Mennonites are calling it a miracle after a second bag of onion and garlic “chaps” were discovered in an Old Dutch box this weekend. “All these years I never looked past that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Hires Mennonite Quilting Ladies to Patch Provincial Highways

May 14, 2022 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB The Killarney women’s quilting club will be extra busy this spring after receiving a generous provincial grant to patch highways throughout the region. “We’re starting with that really rough 14 kilometre stretch near […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Notices “Chastity” Sign Just 20 Minutes Too Late

May 13, 2022 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Morden’s famous “Chastity” sign was a little too far down the road for local dating couple Jeremy Goertzen and Amy Fehr, who had just spent considerable time in the back seat of Jeremy’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Warhol’s ‘Miriam’ Shatters Record, Sells for $195 Million

May 11, 2022 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY A rare Andy Warhol pop art painting of Mennonite literary icon Miriam Toews shattered auction records this week after an anonymous bidder from Schanzenfeld scooped up the image for a whopping $195 million, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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