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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Fraser Valley Renamed ‘Frasier Valley’ After Kelsey Grammer Visit

July 20, 2022 Andrew

GREENDALE, BC A recent visit to the region by 90s sitcom star Kelsey Grammer has caused such a stir that locals have petitioned authorities to rename the area ‘Frasier Valley.’ “We’ve never had such a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Amasses World’s Largest Collection of Plastic Bags

July 19, 2022 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area woman Doris Froese has been collecting plastic bags from the grocery store since they were first introduced in the mid-1980s. “And I’ve never thrown out a single one,” said Froese. “They’re super […]

No Picture
The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves Back and Forth Between Canada and Mexico a Record 37 Times in a Single Week

July 18, 2022 Andrew

CAMPO TRES B, MEXICO Local man John Wiebe has just set a new Mennonite migration record by moving back and forth between Mexico and Canada 37 times in a single week. “I started in Winker […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Becomes Mennonite Just for the Jokes

July 17, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Area man and budding comedian Darryl Harris, 41, has taken up membership at his local Mennonite church just so he can tell all the jokes without retribution. “I love the one about how […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Distributes Free Manure

July 16, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON This Sunday morning, the local Church of God (Revolution) will be generously handing out free manure for people’s gardens and flower beds. “Bring your own wheelbarrows, because there’s going to be a lot […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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