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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

The Daily Bonnet Asks: Can You Be Both Christian and Rich?

June 11, 2022 Andrew

It’s a slippery slope. First they said it was okay in the outside world. Then they said we should tolerate them. Now they’re trying to infiltrate our churches. That’s right. Rich people. Don’t get me […]

Unger & Thirst

Made from What’s Real: New Winnipeg Slogan Pays Tribute to City’s Heritage of Sausage Making

June 10, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB The City of Winnipeg has adopted a new slogan as tribute to the community’s long heritage of making really good kubasa and formaworscht using nothing but the most thoroughly-cleaned natural casings. “Some of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville to Honour Patron Saint David Bergen

June 9, 2022 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB After winning a record fifth McNally Robinson Book of the Year award, renowned author David Bergen has been canonized as a saint by the town of Niverville. He will also be the first […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Reach for the Top’ Contestant Buzzes in 40 Years Too Late

June 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Audiences of the fast-paced high school quiz show ‘Reach for the Top’ have been waiting well over 40 years for contestant Earl Unger to buzz in with the correct answer to the question, […]

Unger & Thirst

BC to Decriminalize Up to 2.5 Grams of Borscht

June 7, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC As of July 1 this year, the government of British Columbia will decriminalize possession of up to 2.5 grams of cabbage borscht, so long as it’s for personal use. “Borscht is a health issue,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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