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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Entire House Filled with Aroma of Farmer Sausage

December 23, 2022 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Joseph Kroeker was minding his own business doing the budget on the computer in the basement when he was stirred to his feet by the smell of farmer sausage wafting down the stairs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Child Confuses Amazon Driver for Santa Claus

December 22, 2022 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Little Timmy Plett of Rosthern has been losing sleep in anticipation of the upcoming gift-giving season. In fact, when the Amazon truck pulled up the Plett yard last night, Timmy ran out in […]

Unger Suspicion

Poll: Should Elon Musk Take Over The Daily Bonnet?

December 21, 2022 Andrew

Waut es met die? This poll is absolutely binding. Whatever you say goes. It’s a democracy. Just like a Mennonite elder board meeting. So the question is – should Elon Musk be given full control […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Tell if Your Christmas Tree is Illegal

December 20, 2022 Andrew

Oba, so these days even in Schteinback you have to know where your tree is coming from once yet such. You just can’t trust anyone who says, “Oba, yo, I’ve got a tree for you […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wears Steel Toe Boots to Church

December 19, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB In an abundance of caution, Mr. Plett has taken to wearing his steel toe boots everywhere he goes, including church. “I’m a Mennonite, so of course I don’t care about safety recommendations,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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