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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Man with 27% of the Vote Claims He’s Mayor of Winnipeg

October 27, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For some strange reason, an area man who received just 27% of the vote last night is under the impression that he’s the new mayor of Winnipeg. “I’d like to thank the literally […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Vows Never Again to Ask English Prof to Read the Children’s Story

October 26, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB All the children ages 3 to 11 at East Winnipeg MBCC church were called up to the front for the children’s story this Sunday morning, when renowned CMU English professor Dr. Leroy Klippenstein […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Folds a Record 300 Bulletins in Just 5 Minutes

October 25, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Lana Koop, 43, set an all time record this past Sunday by folding and stuffing more than 300 bulletins in just five minutes. “I knew that people would start filing in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Runs for Mayor of Vanapag

October 24, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Local man Glen Loeppky, 64, has just announced he is running for mayor of Vanapag and, if he can get everyone at the Portage Avenue Church to vote for him, believes he has […]

Unger Games

Generous Rider Fans Donate Unwanted Grey Cup Tickets to Local Thrift Store

October 23, 2022 Andrew

REGINA, SK After being eliminated from playoff contention this week, thousands of Saskatchewan Roughrider fans have been donating their unwanted Grey Cup tickets at local MCC thrift stores. “We’re getting in Grey Cup tickets by […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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