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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Argentina Runs Out of Yerba Mate Moments After World Cup Victory

December 18, 2022 Andrew

LA PAMPA COLONY, ARGENTINA After consuming more than 100 million kilos of yerba mate in just 90 minutes, the supply of green leafy tea in the World Cup champion nation of Argentina, is now completely […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Shuts Off Vikings Game at Half Time

December 17, 2022 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Disgusted at his team’s performance, area man Pete Klassen shut off the TV at half time as his team was down 33-0. “Oba, I’ve had enough!” said Klassen tossing the remote control […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Mennonites

December 16, 2022 Andrew

Let’s face it. Gone are the days when a paper bag filled with peanuts is sufficient to satisfy the demands of a Mennonite child. These days all the city Mennos prefer socks filled with various […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Perplexed by the Warm Soothing Sounds of Steve Bell

December 15, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Corny Plett, 61, normally a pretty wound-up individual, ventured into the city this week to attend a concert by Steve Bell and discovered a whole new world of emotions he’d never even […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key

December 14, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHASSELHOF, MB The local Unsafeway Store has had to put their entire supply of romaine lettuce under lock and key this week after a rash of thefts nearly brought the store to its knees. “Let’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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