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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Neighbourhood Church Has Staff of 30 Pastors for Some Reason

July 7, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The local Waters of Thankful Fellowship church has an average weekly attendance of just over 200 people but has a pastoral staff of more than 30 full time positions for some reason. “Here […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends Two Hours Selecting Least Awkward Urinal

July 6, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona man Pat Rempel, 47, spent more than two hours selecting the proper urinal position during a trip to a Winnipeg shopping mall this week. “Okay, okay, Pat, you can do this,” he […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Labelled a “Feminist” for Not Trailing 10 Feet Behind Her Husband at All Times

July 5, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Sarah Warkentin, 33, of Winkler made headlines this week after she was spotted standing right beside her husband as the couple exited their Dodge Caravan and, according to sources, stayed beside him […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Creates World’s Longest Mexican Chain

July 4, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Pankratz of Blumenort, Manitoba is set to enter the Guinness Book of World Records this week after creating a Mexican Chain that stretched through her front yard, straight down Penner Avenue, and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet

July 3, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Toews of Chihuahua moved all the way to northern Alberta this week just so he could have more reliable access to the world’s most expensive internet. “I love being taking advantage […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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