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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Perplexed by the Warm Soothing Sounds of Steve Bell

December 15, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Corny Plett, 61, normally a pretty wound-up individual, ventured into the city this week to attend a concert by Steve Bell and discovered a whole new world of emotions he’d never even […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key

December 14, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHASSELHOF, MB The local Unsafeway Store has had to put their entire supply of romaine lettuce under lock and key this week after a rash of thefts nearly brought the store to its knees. “Let’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Hottest Christmas Present This Year? Children’s Advil

December 13, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Saskatonians lined up outside their neighbourhood department store this week to get their hands on the hottest present of the season – children’s Advil. “I haven’t seen anything like this since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Looks Exactly the Same in AI-Generated Historical Photos

December 12, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Irene Klassen of Steinbach was very excited about the new AI historic photo app her granddaughter Megan told her about. That is, until the results came in and all the photos looked […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Send Hate Mail to The Daily Bonnet: A Guide

December 11, 2022 Andrew

Ahhh, hate mail. It’s always such a delightful gift to receive any time of year, but especially around the holidays. If you’re considering giving the gift of irrational angry vitriol this year, here are a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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