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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

‘Destitute’ Galen Weston to Subsist Entirely on ‘No Name Brand’ Products

April 8, 2023 Andrew

BRAMPTON, ON Left with just barely enough income to survive in today’s economy, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston has been forced to try his own No Name Brand products for the very first time. “Yikes. I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man to Start Drinking Bud Light Just So He Has Something to Boycott

April 7, 2023 Andrew

SCHANZENBERG, MB After Bud Light apparently went “woke” this week, conservative country singers are urging folks to join them in a boycott of the brewing company. This came as a great disappointment for Mr. Dave […]

Unger & Thirst

Raisin Buns at Church Lunch Seen as ‘Really Bad Omen’

April 6, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB As the Kleefeld MBCC church gathered for their spring lunch this week, many Mennonites felt a little uneasy as each table had a basket of raisin buns. “What are they trying to tell […]

Unger Conviction

Artificial Intelligence Puts Mennonite Pastor Out of Work

April 5, 2023 Andrew

At The Unger Review, we’re always trying to make things easier for Mennonite pastors. They spend enough time each week visiting Taunte Tina at the manor, or breaking up post-trib pre-trib debates among parishioners. So […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Claim TV is Just for Watching Billy Graham Specials

April 4, 2023 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE Caught with a television set in their home this week by the church vice squad, the Friesens of Henderson, Nebraska claim they only really use the TV for the two allowable reasons – […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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